The Gift of Listening

“The listening hand brings us back to an ancient kind of language. This kind of knowing, contacting, understanding and hearing add depth, wisdom and compassion to our lives and to the lives of those we love.”

—Ilana Rubenfeld

The ability to deeply listen is both a skill and an art.

It is an art that I have been consciously practicing for almost twenty-five years. I say “consciously” because it is my nature to listen. I have always loved listening to people. Getting to know others and hearing their life stories fascinates me. The connection I feel when someone openly shares about themselves warms my heart and nurtures my soul.

In my former career as an interior designer, listening to my clients was essential for creating beautiful and functional spaces that resonated with them. It was through our conversations that I identified their needs and aesthetic preferences. I did not have a particular “look” that I imposed on my clients. I created spaces that reflected who they were.

Although I had innate listening skills, I did not fully understand the depth of listening that I could cultivate until I entered the Rubenfeld Synergy Training Program in 1997. Listening is the foundation of the somatic-based healing method Ilana Rubenfeld created over 60 years ago. Ilana was a listener by nature too. She started her professional life as an orchestra conductor. You can imagine the depth of listening a conductor must have to hear the subtleties of each instrument and create one harmonious sound.

Exhaustive hours of conducting ultimately took its toll on Ilana’s back. In her search for pain relief, Ilana became aware of the intimate connection between the body, mind, emotions, and spirit. It was this knowledge, that led to the creation of her holistic healing approach, which combines gentle “listening” touch and talk. Read more about my introduction to the Rubenfeld Synergy Method and Ilana’s story.

Ilana intuitively understood that trauma is held in the body long before researchers began to make the connection. By listening to the body with her hands, she could sense the blocks and constriction in her clients’ bodies and help them to become aware of these “holdings” and verbalize what they felt to make sense of them and heal their invisible wounds.

Throughout my years of listening to many clients and their bodies, the body’s intelligence never fails to amaze me. The body maps your life experiences in its cells and tissues. When you listen to your body, you can sense and feel both the positive and negative impact of your experiences on you. By engaging in a “conversation” with your body, you can access guidance and wisdom for your life journey, self-care, and healing.

Touch adds a whole other dimension to the listening process. For most of this past year, I have been unable to touch my clients. Instead, I have guided my clients to touch themselves and listen deeply to the places calling to them from within. This is how I guide those who attend Soulful Sundays to listen to themselves too.

Listening to your body is a skill that can be taught. The art of listening involves your heart, your gut, your whole being. Listening is about noticing when you feel expansive, comfortable, and at ease in your body and when you do not. Listening is about hearing the wise voice within and trusting it.

Listening to your body and being, or to another person, with curiosity, openness, respect and compassion creates safety. It supports the calming of the nervous system and eases the bodymind. In this state, you can touch the peace and joy that lives within you, the peace and joy that is you. This is the gift of listening.