A Tribute to Ilana Rubenfeld

*This article was originally posted on Facebook in 2017.

It was my therapist in the early 90s that suggested The Rubenfeld Synergy Method®, a holistic approach that helps you to understand yourself, your relationships and life experiences by listening to your body’s sensations and feelings, so you can feel more comfortable in your own skin and discover healthier ways of relating.

It was obvious that I was stressed as I hurried into his office each week, out of breath, and ready to burst into tears. He explained how the method’s combination of gentle touch and talk would help me become aware of my body and better manage my stress. Overwhelmed by the responsibilities in my various roles as a mom, a wife and a business partner, and relentlessly striving to be perfect in each one of them, I just could not imagine doing one more thing. His suggestion went in one ear and out the other.

As fate, would have it, the Rubenfeld Synergy Method, serendipitously re-appeared months later. Two friends and I were meeting weekly to talk about our life challenges and provide support to each other. After weeks of meeting, a desire to delve deeper into a process of self-discovery emerged. We agreed to find a facilitator. My friend, Howie, suggested Malcolm, a colleague he knew through his job in the NYC school system. Wouldn’t you know, this man just happened to be a Rubenfeld Synergist. The chances of this happening were probably a billion to one. At the time, there were only 500 Synergists in the world.

The three of us went off to NYC for a Synergy session. This was unusual, since sessions are typically done one-on-one, but Malcolm was game and open to our request. During a session, a client lies on a massage table, fully clothed, while the Synergist guides the client in a process of listening to the body. I was the first one to go on the table. Sitting on its edge and being the center of attention instantly evoked feelings. Although it felt good to have Malcolm focus on and listen to me, I was worried that my friends were not be attended to. They assured me that all was well. Then came the “aha”.

I made a connection between my experience on the table to an experience in my life. I am the oldest in a family with six children; consequently, there was always a baby or younger child whose needs were more immediate than mine. Being on the table simultaneously brought awareness to my need for focused attention and addressed it. This was just the beginning of many discoveries that helped me take better care of myself.

During the months my friends and I saw Malcolm, my interest in health, psychology and spirituality grew. One day, I heard my inner voice say, “Theresa, you could work in this (body/mind/spirit) field.” I sensed that I was being called to a new vocation and began to explore my options..

I went to see Ilana Rubenfeld present at the Open Center in NYC. I was wowed by her transformative work. Then I attended her five-day workshop at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY. At Omega, I had a profound experience. I understood Ilana was not only touching the body, she was touching the soul. I was sold on Synergy. The following month I submitted an application for the training program.

Fast forward twenty years later, my life has been transformed in deeply profound ways by Ilana’s work and by the gifted teachers who followed in her lineage. Learning to listen to another human being with presence, empathy and gentle touch, and being on the receiving end of such highly attuned listening has made me a better mother, wife, friend and, of course, Synergist. Over the years, I have had the privilege of guiding many people to heal their invisible emotional wounds, embody their value and find peace and purpose in their lives.

With gratitude and love, I celebrate the genius of Ilana Rubenfeld and her unique fusion of touch and talk.

Ilana came to the U.S. when she was just five years old from what was then called, Palestine. She was daughter of Jewish parents who fled Russia during the revolution. Not knowing English, she learned to read body language, listen to voice tone and make sense of facial cues and gestures. Taunted with anti-Semitic slurs, she struggled to find solace in her new country. Music became her salvation.

Ilana’s talent and interest in music eventually led her to Julliard where she studied conducting. As a conductor, she honed her listening skills to unify the various sounds of the orchestra. After many long hours of practice, Ilana developed severe back and shoulder pain. Seeking relief, she tried medication, which helped temporarily. Then a friend referred her to a teacher of the Alexander technique. Alexander teachers help students to become aware of how they hold their bodies. They use gentle touch to bring awareness and suggest postures that are more balanced and efficient.

When Ilana was gently touched by her teacher tears welled to the surface. She wanted to talk about her feelings, but her teacher was not trained to work with emotions. She referred Ilana to a psychotherapist. When Ilana went to see the therapist, her emotions felt more distant. She said, “I had one person who would touch me, but wouldn’t talk to me, and another who would talk to me be, but wouldn’t touch me.”

These experiences led Ilana to believe there was a connection between the body and emotions. Inspired by her discoveries, she became an Alexander teacher. She went on to study the Feldenkrais Method, which helps people to become aware of habitual patterns of holding in the body through movement, and then trained in Gestalt Therapy, a psychotherapeutic method. Like the conductor who brings all the sounds of an orchestra together to form something greater, Ilana brought these methods together to create a dynamic new method that addresses the whole person: body, mind emotions and spirit. Instead of listening to instruments, Ilana now listened to the song of the soul.

Ilana’s pioneering spirit, creativity and wise intuition has given us the gift of Synergy. She was a trailblazer well before the mainstream began researching the bodymind connection. Ilana knew what trauma researchers have only discovered in more recent years; trauma is held in the body, frozen in its tissues, and to heal trauma we need to listen to the body.

Thank you, Ilana for your life-changing gift.